I figured out what is the missing piece: I am on a path chasing things I don’t care about.
I love to create. However, I have spent more than my fair share of time creating things to get things I really didn’t want. Like spending time hours crafting the perfect resume and job application for a position I was lukewarm about (see: The Day My Resume Died). I enjoy the process of creating and bringing something into the world that will outlast me. Looking at it from another perspective, any job I spend 40 hours a week at isn’t responsible for that. What I do during the day is a job, it isn’t me. I get paid for showing up and fulfilling my job duties, whatever that may be.
But its hollow at the end of the day.
It’s up to me Whether I fix something or push buttons to do make something else work, it’s temporal and forgotten as soon as the moment passes. Every year, I put 2000+ hours into a job. And for what end? So once my check clears for the last pay period, so does my contributions for work for that period. Let’s begin the cycle again. Monday is always coming (or Tuesday if there was a holiday and I am feeling extra saucy).
This isn’t a rant on jobs, we all need to work in some fashion. This is a personal reflection of how and why I choose to spend my time. If I only get one shot at life, why spend it toiling away on things that don’t outlast me. There are 3 resources in this world that govern almost every decision in some way: MONEY, ENERGY, and TIME.
- MONEY – Money comes and goes and with the right set of circumstances, systems, and planning, I can acquire more money given enough energy & time.
- ENERGY – The energy level of a 20 year and a 30-year-old is different. And there is no way a motivated 60 years old can keep up with an unmotivated 30-year-old. So on and so forth.
- TIME – You can’t buy, find, steal, cheat or acquire any more time than you have right now. We all have 24 hours in a day but no idea how many days we have left.
With that being said, I have to do the things that give me the best return on investment. My short-term actions and long-term
goals assignments must match up or I will battle with unhappiness. Over the years, I have become keen on my wants and needs and how I handle them. I have gotten really good at cutting through my own bullshit and getting to the root of the problem instead of just treating the symptoms.
Of course, I knew this years ago and even left myself a note.
And looking back it was obvious.
LISTEN TO ME
So over a year or two, I realized have been dulling my edges (read: advantages) to fit into spaces I am not interested in. I spent a lot of time working on jobs and side tasks that provided me experience (and money) but didn’t push me closer to my personal accomplishments. I took a step back and after a particular time during work, I had to gather myself. I DO NOT want my life to be defined by my day to day duties at work. Frankly because the job is simply to pay the bills, but that isn’t all I am.
To this end, I recorded a personal song on my smartphone to use as a mantra going forward. To remind me of my focus and the challenges I would face in the future. The song is titled “Listen to Me”. The lyrics remind me if I don’t focus on what I what, I will be “spinning my gears” and “expending my ego” while furthering someone else’s dream.
I have to “do what I need to do.” Here is my 4 step plan for all of us:
- Refine my edges instead of dulling them. Create and execute on the ideas I have with the tools I have available.
- Share those skills/creations with the world at large instead of the recesses of my hard drive.
- Connect with like-minded individuals to refine and sharpen our ideas and creations as a whole.
- Inspire others to stand up and do the same thing. In this way, we can make ourselves and other lives better.
So I will start and share my projects with you in hopes to begin the cycle.
Project 52 is one of my personal projects for 2018. I will share more projects and plans as they are completed/in progress. I don’t want to make call Project 52 is named that way for 2 reasons: there are 52 weeks in the year and 52 cards in a playing card deck. Every week, I will share one of my personal songs and a custom lyrics video for it. Each song will be tied to a specific card in the playing card deck. The purpose of this particular project is so I can create on my own terms and my own rules. And I am sure I am not alone in this feeling. A job may not need all of your talents and/or interests. Instead of letting them wither on the vine and live a life of “Woe is me”, throw your hat into the ring and get started. With YouTube, WordPress, Vimeo, social media and countless other software and platforms that are available for low cost (if not free), you are able to bring your creations to life. The seeds I plant today will be my real measure of growth in the future. You can choose to plant your own seeds today or wait a few years and then complain that nothing changed.
PROJECT 52 first video is LISTEN TO ME.
A few days ago, I had a dream that I was at a night-time party with a friend of mine. It was a mild summer evening with a huge rooftop deck with an open bar, smiling people and lots of stars in the clear night sky. I was sitting down and nursing my colorful drink as my friend was telling me over and over that, I don’t have time. He was assumed I didn’t have time rather than ask me. To be honest, it was getting irritating. Other than a few days set aside for vacation, I have the time. I said this many times over but he was ranting, not letting me get a word in edgewise. Near the end of my drink, I woke up, the last words heard “You don’t have time.”
The last time I saw & talked to my friend was December 7, 2012…..